Thirty things to do before I’m Thirty


Not things that I ‘have’ to do, and with a few rules set as well, I am creating a list of thing I out to have done beforthe 28th of May, 2022.


So firstly, the things that are not going to be included

  • Nothing about losing weight as it’s own point.  [Such a goal is in itself empty and it’ll only make me SAD. Instead, I’m allowed list things like cycling and swimming and etc.]
  • Nothing about falling in love, marriage, etc. [That shit can’t be timetabled, it just happens.  Also it’ll make me DESPERATE]
  • No ‘Meet such and such a person’.  [Because that’ll just mean it’s mega awkward when I do meet them.]


So without further ado, here is my list of Things to do before I’m 30.

  1. Re-learn how to knit and then knit a jumper, a hat and a tea cosy [In the shape of Michael D Higgins or mister T]
  2. Co-habitat with somebody, be it boyfriend or room mate [Aim for a sexy time partner though, somebody who can cook and have sex would be nice]
  3. Write a book[About anything, memoir, novel or non-fiction]
  5. Buy a fitted 1950s style dress [Because everyone looks good in a fitted 1950s style dress. Thanks for pointing that out, Caitlin Moran!]
  6. Try a vegetarian diet [For Hipster points]
  7. Visit America[I have to go to this place and confirm that it is in fact 1-real and 2- completely batshit]
  8. Perform at a poetry slam[Hopefully multiple slams but better stick this on here to motivate myself]
  9. Produce a web series[Hopefully one about reviewing shitty romantic comedies or saving the world.]
  10. Swim a lot [In the SEA.  And the pool, just get back into it.  Oh, and buy some goggles!]
  11. Perform stand up comedy [And hopefully don’t die on your arse while doing it]
  12. Gig somewhere outside Ireland[As a musician, actor or other, whevs]
  13. See Rome[I HAVE TO SEE ROME]
  14. Write a balls to the wall good old fashioned power ballad [Any songwriter worth their salt has written at least like, nine]
  15. Have a job that I enjoy getting up to do in the morning [Because what the fuck am I doing if I don’t]
  16. Learn to drive [Just to make a point out of not having a car.  Possibly get a van license for maximum cool]
  17. [The shit I’m going to do my hair now follows] Dye a grey streak into my hair so I look like a cross between Caitlin Moran and Rogue from X men. [Because frankly, any club that Caitlin Moran and Rogue from X men are both in, I want to be in too.]
  18. Grow my hair out to mermaid/hippy length [going hand in hand with this is my original number 19-Grow out my layers, but it’s basically this]
  19. Go grey with dignity without dying my hair a false natural colour [If I must dye, it will be pink, green or purple. Again, see grey streak about for what I intend to do with the eventuality of greys.]
  20. Re-learn how to french plait my hair [Suuuch a useful, show off-y thing to know how to do and a vital skill for any cool auntie/mother/bridesmaid worth anything, so it’s a skill with a lot of application value
  21. Grow out my fringe [I just want my wild hair again… I feel like I’ve caged it too long]
  22. [end hair section] Go jogging [Healthy! And obnoxious!]
  23. Do the mini marathon again [Healthy! And you get hosed by the fire Brigade!]
  24. try Yoga[Because I want to stick my leg behind my head. Who knows how useful that will get]
  25. Write a play [Or finish one you’ve started…]
  26. Continue to expand my mug collection [It’s wonderful, trust me.]
  27. get a poem published [In a proper publication, magazine or collection, dammit!]
  28. get a nice bike and cycle it everywhere [I deserve a nice bike, dammit]
  29. Write a film [Something quirky and weird and with alien robot junkies hopefully]
  30. Write a sitcom[Presumably about all the shit I got up to in my 20s]


Niamh ‘Yes I collect mugs’ Keoghan


One response

  1. Awesome! I want to dye a grey streak through my hair too! Good luck with your things!

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