Why I don’t like April Fools day (or; this post has exactly 666 words)

Call me silly or humour-less or whatever you like but I still don’t get why abusing somebody’s trust in your word is a good thing.

THE SONG THAT NAME DROPS THE THEME OF THIS POST IN IT’S TITLE BUT ISN’T REALLY THEMATICALLY LINKED TO IT

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I do think there’s something inherently sneering about the concept of April Fools day.  My friends have pranks like posting an ultrasound picture on your boyfriends facebook with ‘x :)’ attached to it, or pretending to come out, or telling someone an untrue story and then laughing at their reactions.  Is this really supposed to be ‘funny’?  Funny to me moves from the person making the joke.  A good comedian makes a heckler funny by turning their interference back on them but the heckler was still the one who instigated the exchange.  April fools pranks just take the form of the following general categories-

  1. Things involving getting someone wet (cling film over the toilet bowl, bucket of water in the doorframe)
  2. Fooling someone into doing stupid shit because they trust you
  3. the ‘reaction’ pranks (Coming out, being pregnant, STIs, etc)

And the problem I have is that none of these are funny.  If you manage to convince someone to get locked outside in their underpants with no key, why are they the subject of your laughter? Oh yeah they’re just ‘fools’ but hold on- that’s your friend.  They trusted you- any prank I’ve ever suffered has been actively forced onto me.  My skepticism is overwhelmed by the insistence that ‘No, no, I’m serious! You have to, it’s not a mess!’ Why are we punishing people for their decency and their willingness to take what you’ve said on your word? What kind of message is this to send?

I remember clearly one instance where girls chased me around a hostel in Carlingford all night BEGGING to be believed that one of them had an infection in her cunt that needed to be seen to.  I knew it wasn’t true, I called bullshit a hundred times but they kept at me and at me and at me, and when I finally and grudgingly agreed to believe them, the young one afflicted with this cunt rot asks me to rub lotion into it.  I cringe when I think of poor 15 year old me, badgered and bothered all night, finally giving in and trying to be kind, only to get ridiculed and laughed at and called a fool.  It’s maddening.

Somehow I think the coming out ones are pretty awful.  As if somehow being gay is a shock, a huge and horrific thing that is going to freak the fuck out of your old stuffy parents.  Or you’re pregnant, the sudden outpouring of love and support and talk of loving you no matter what you choose that you’re likely to get is then rendered GAS because there isn’t an actual baby and you’re grand and they look silly because they’ve just said they love you and want to help.  How dare this actually pass as something humourous?

‘Practical’ jokes are by far the worst thing I have ever seen (aside from rape and dead baby jokes). Dead baby jokes I can kind of see the appeal  of, if I tilt my head and squint a bit but practical jokes mystify me.  Honestly I find any that have been done to me a bit sick and awful.  A bit ‘practical joke’ played on me when I was 14 and in the Galethacht was the girls in my house stealing my Pikachu teddy and hanging it from a noose in my wardrobe.  HILARIOUS.  Wow, really.  And I am the fool here.

There’s no real humour in a practical joke.  It’s just lying at someone until they’ll come into the trap one has set them.  It doesn’t expose their foolishness, it only makes the prankers nasty streak apparent.

 

So yes, fuck you, prankers.

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Niamh ‘Okay the Ultrasound one is a bit clever’ Keoghan

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